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Daniel Frisano - Technical translator
"Unrelenting quest for perfection"
 

 
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  Translation bloopers from all over the world

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by latest Methodists.

In a Z├╝rich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of the entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Czech tourist agency:
Take one hour horse-driven carriage. We guarantee no miscarriages.

In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in a bar.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

Two signs at the entrance of a Majorcan shop:
English well speaking. Here speeching American.

In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of an Italian doctor in Rome:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

On the menu of a Polish restaurant:
Salad a firm's own make; Limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; Roasted duck let loose; Beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

In a Bangkok dry cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris boutique:
Dresses for street walking.

From the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

A sign posted somewhere in Germany's Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that couple of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter lift backwards, but only when lit up.

In the lobby of a hotel facing a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursdays.

In a Tokyo based hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notice.

In the window of an Indian shop:
Why go somewhere else to be cheated, when you can come here?

In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

In a Hong Kong supermarket:
For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
Customers who find our waitress rude, ought to see the manager.

In an East African newspaper:
A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

In a Vienna hotel:
In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

A translated sentence from a Russian chess book:
A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.

In a Pumwani maternity ward:
No children allowed.

In the window of a Swedish furrier:
Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.

Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:
Stop: Drive Sideways.

In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

From the brochure of a Tokyo car rental firm:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.